Balancing the Unbalanced: Trying to Work and Mother in the Same Breath
There’s this constant pull I feel.
Between work and motherhood.
Between answering emails and answering the cries of my baby.
Between wanting to show up professionally and needing to show up for the little human who depends on me entirely.
I work part-time as a marketing coordinator. I also stay home full-time with my baby. Yes, both. At the same time. And most days, it feels like trying to walk two different paths with one tired body.
The Mental Load is Real
What people don’t always see is how much mental energy it takes to be both a caregiver and a professional at the same time.
Science shows that a mother’s brain actually changes after birth. The areas responsible for empathy, emotional regulation, and planning become more active. It’s part of what helps us attune to our baby’s needs, even without words. But it also means we’re constantly thinking, constantly anticipating, and constantly holding space for everything and everyone.
That kind of invisible load is heavy. It doesn’t end at 5 p.m. It doesn’t wait until the weekend. It’s always there, even when we’re working, even when we’re trying to rest.
Why I Choose to Be Present
I know how important these early years are. A baby’s brain develops faster in the first few years of life than at any other time. These are the years that shape emotional security, trust, and how a child relates to the world.
That’s why I try to center my days around my son. I don’t want to miss the little things, because those little things are actually really big. I want him to feel seen and safe and heard.
That means I work during naps, in the evenings, or on weekends. Not because it’s convenient, but because it’s the best way I can meet his needs while still showing up for my work responsibilities.
On weekends, Lukas steps in so I can work uninterrupted for a few hours. It gives him space to bond with our son, and it gives me a chance to catch up, focus, and breathe for a moment without splitting my attention.
The Childcare Catch
We had a nanny for a while. When I was working full-time, it felt necessary. But once I dropped to part-time hours, it just didn’t make sense anymore. After taxes and childcare costs, my paycheck was barely covering anything.
So we cut back. Now, we only use childcare when I absolutely have to go into the office. Even that’s complicated. My son is still breastfed and won’t take a bottle, so I’m limited to about three hours away before he needs me again. That means every meeting, every project, every outing has to be carefully timed and planned around feedings. I’m constantly watching the clock and feeling torn between being present at work and being needed at home.
And even though I try to balance both, it’s not easy. There are no clean lines between personal and professional anymore.
Communicating With Work
What’s helped me most in this season is honest communication.
I’ve stopped trying to do it all and started being real about what I can and can’t take on. I let my team know when something won’t fit my schedule or when I need a little flexibility. I’ve learned that setting boundaries isn’t unprofessional, it’s actually one of the most respectful things you can do, for yourself and for others.
If you’re in a similar place, speak up. You don’t have to hide how hard it is. You don’t have to prove anything. Offer solutions where you can, be clear about your limits, and remember that asking for help is not a weakness.
The Guilt of Wanting to Do Both Well
I feel guilty when I miss a deadline. I feel guilty when I step away from my son to take a call. I feel guilty when I skip a call to be with my son.
No matter how I divide my time, something is always being sacrificed. And that’s hard.
But I’m learning to accept that my priorities will never be perfectly balanced, and that’s okay. Some days I get more done for work. Some days I pour everything into motherhood. Some days I’m just surviving. And that counts too.
Redefining Balance
Balance isn’t about doing everything equally. It’s about adjusting in real time. Some moments require you to lean into work. Some moments require you to be fully present at home. And some moments ask you to rest.
This season is not forever. But the bond I’m building with my child is. That’s the foundation. That’s the reason I work at all; to support that life, not to replace it.
So if you’re in this same space, trying to keep your head above water while navigating both motherhood and work, you’re not alone. You’re doing your best with a very full plate. And that’s enough.